Squid on the Crunch
You must understand that as a professional writer I am of the greedy, unscrupulous sort. If you wag enough bills in front of my face I will write the vilest, most disgusting piece of offal ever conceived by the mind of a television brainstormer. Most mainstream writers I know retain a modicum of their youth’s artistic principles and so would debase themselves in the worship of Mammon only low enough as to be able to feed themselves and their families but not any lower. I, on the other hand, am known for my mercenary disposition. Now if you think that’s a bluff, let me introduce you to an abomination I sired in my avarice; a wretched thing so loathsome my friends bring it up in parties to embarrass me:
Screenwriters have a long and heartbreaking history of getting ignored and treated like lowly drones by the guys sitting at the smug side of the desk. Even directors would like you to think that they’re the true brains behind a movie or a television episode– never mind that the writer is the only person in the whole creative team that makes something out of absolutely nothing but brain jizz. I think this is the reason why everyone hates writers: from the producers who can’t understand why they have to pay real money to people whose job description is to make things up, to the directors who are too in love with themselves to admit that they’re not the ones who really make the stuff up.