WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
I was going through my day just like every other cybernaut: getting people to look at the Goatse Guy’s asshole, vandalizing Wikipedia as my contribution to the pursuit of ignorance, and searching the electronic Qur’an for passages that would justify the killing of women, children, and Belgians. When I logged into my Imageshack account with the intention of uploading kiddie porn, I found this:
What, pray fucking tell, is this? Why is there a picture of pedolicious Protestant school kids on my Imageshack account?
If you consult a doctor’s library of common illnesses, you’re likely to have the impression that a boil– or furuncle– is a garden-variety skin disease caused by the infection of hair follicles by Staphylococcus aureus, a strain of bacteria that normally lives on the skin’s surface. The follicle accumulates pus and other dead tissues and becomes a painful lump as the body’s immune system fights off the infection. Said body will be well acquainted with this mean cunt for a few days since there’s no other way to cure it but to let it run its course. Shortly after a yellow ‘head’ appears on it, the boil will burst and discharge pus. Thus ends one’s brief friendship with the furuncle.
Sterile medical language, I must say, fails to invoke the sense of Biblical awe that a boil rightly deserves. Friends, you have never known suffering if you haven’t had a boil on your thigh mere inches from your nuts. Such misery transcends humanity. It has been known to turn peons into poets.
