Being Squid Villanueva
97.4 LB-FM: Your Radio. Broadcasting live from the second floor of the DevCom building in UP Los Baños, we are the station that brings radio closer to you. This is the Vulture of Culture, the Bohemian, checking in for the program Tribal Drums where we play the best of Filipino Rock and Roll Music.
With that awesome spiel I started my program as a student broadcaster in UP Los Baños’ local radio station, DZLB-FM, from 1998 up until I stepped on into the Real World Express back in 2000. Being a disk jock was a blast, I must say, what with the chicks thinking you were a real live superstar amongst them. Never mind the fact that LB-FM was broadcasting in mono and that it was never heard beyond the few crummy towns surrounding Los Baños. No, I was a fucking superstar because my uber cool voice was on the radio, constantly commenting on Filipino music, stuff that happened around in the campus, and claiming that I was raised by wolves. Oh, yeah, it was great while it lasted.
I never really listened again to that station after I left it. Indeed, most days I don’t even think about it anymore. Yet what sent me driving upon the avenue of memories is this website. It’s the old LB-FM site and it’s still up there, apparently. I had a surprise when I clicked on DJ profiles and then the icon bearing my college picture, which led to this description. I’d forgotten that I made that writeup myself (except for the “obnoxious” part of it; I think Glitch added that). What struck me about that writeup is how closely it matches the idiocy of my profile in the Man Blog’s roster of editors. That’s when I realized that my alter-ego, the internet asshole Squid Villanueva, is really the Bohemian with all the moral fetters thrown away.
Counter-argument: But you ARE Squid Villanueva.
No. If I was Squid Villanueva I’d have been murdered a long time ago. Squid Villanueva is a character like Maddox is a character and like the Howard Stern you hear on your stereos is a character. I must emphasize that to be an internet asshole, you should know who you really are, else your character will eat you up. Being a misanthrope on the blogosphere is one thing, but being one in real life situations will cost you your life.
I think my wife, Janice, understands the distinction between Squid and Randy because she’s a psychology graduate. Squid is my Id, my Mr. Hyde, given voice. Blogging as Squid is an exercise in being painfully honest about myself. There are times when even I am shocked by what the vitriol that spews out of Squid reveals about my subconscious. One of the prime discoveries I made about myself is that I’m a misogynist. Oh, I don’t really elbow pregnant women and grope teenaged girls on the train (my posts notwithstanding). I, like most men, don’t wave my misogyny about in everyday situations but I’m not ashamed to admit either that I’m glad I wasn’t born a woman. Make of that what you will.
Recently, though, I’ve been having a bit of a trouble thinking up of nasty rants for Songs of the Salamander, the Man Blog, and the folks I constantly attempt to outrage over at Filipino Writer. It’s not that the hate comments are getting to me. When you’ve decided to become an internet asshole, you’re prepared for the shit that eventually finds its way towards you. No, I don’t lose much sleep over hate commenters and retarded flamers. Truth to tell, most of the feedback I get is from people who actually like my work. Apparently, people who get turned off by my stuff are sensible enough to stop reading and let it go.
Rather, the old Id’s been giving me busy signals whenever I dial his home phone number. Must be because of all this good cheer I’m starting to feel ever since Janice and I hung up our Christmas decors. Cynical as I am most times, lit up Christmas trees bring out the inner sissy in me.
By the way, because I’ve always wanted to sound like a nigga by saying mad props to some bloke: mad props to Ade and Steel for their recent promotion to editor status on the Man Blog. Also, check out my latest retarded article, A Conversation on a Slow Los Baños Day.
