The Salamander

A common misconception about the human brain that parapsychologists and psychics often cite to support their claims is that we only use about ten percent of our brains and that the remaining ninety percent contains the strange mechanisms of psionics. Allow me then to quip: if we’re only using ten percent of our brains, who’s using the other ninety? Okay, I’ll stop trying to be clever now.

The ten percent shtick is a crock of shit. The entirety of the human brain has already been mapped. Each part of the brain has a known and proven function. No, there is no mysterious ninety percent. The brain is not the seat of the human soul.

Yet where did the ten percent lie come from? Ironically, there is a scientific origin for this, albeit deliberately twisted so as to serve the ends of charlatans and sincere but misguided fools. Listen carefully now. This here is the straight dope:

We know that the brain functions because of neurons. At any given moment, approximately ten percent of the total amount of neurons in your pointy little head is firing electrical pulses like a bunch of drunk South American freedom fighters. Yep, just ten percent. But what if– all of a sudden– eighty, ninety, no, a hundred percent of your brain’s neurons suddenly fire up? Would you then gain powers far beyond those of mortal men? No, my friend. Since your brain would then be commanding your bodily functions to freak out all at the same time, what you’ll get is the mother of all epileptic seizures.

Look, I’m not saying that there are no more mysteries left to investigate about the human mind. God forbid we run out of mysteries. Imagine how utterly boring human existence would be without them. I’m not saying there is nothing fascinating about life either. We can explain love and thought and inspiration on paper as chemical and biological processes but that doesn’t take any of the magic away from the actual experience. Stars may be dull balls of gas but they sure are pretty. Human beings are more than the sum of our icky parts.

For over two years, Nginiiig! has been traveling the country in pursuit of monsters, demons, and the angry dead. During that time, I have constantly come face to face with something so terrible I shudder thinking about it. No, I’m not talking about spooks. Rather, I’m pertaining to Filipino superstition.

You must understand that most Filipinos are poor, poorly educated, or (more commonly) both; and thus extremely superstitious. After all, superstition is the child of ignorance. I used to want to believe that the lack of a formal education is not necessarily synonymous with the lack of common sense. Yet my experiences in the field prove otherwise.

Look. Most of the people who call us are either fruitcakes who believe they have superpowers or people desperate for a cheap cure to expensive illnesses. The former are poor saps who want to feel special. They seem to feel that they are insignificant in the scheme of the universe and thus delude themselves into thinking that they have uncanny abilities. The latter are ignorant people who would rather attribute supernatural causes to scientifically explainable illnesses because a witch’s hex can more easily be remedied than cancer. Besides, a quack doctor or a psychic is more affordable than a real physician. It’s all wishful thinking.

Now, you’re thinking: is Nginiiig! legit or is it a hoax?

Throughout the years, a lot of people have asked me if what we do is real. Are the psychics genuine? Are there really ghosts? Look at it this way: Quests aren’t scripted and the subjects aren’t actors. If they look sincere, it’s because they probably are. Yet sincerity is not an assurance that there really are spooks. One can be sincerely deluded.

On the other hand, I don’t believe in ghosts and demons and spirits. I believe even less in psychics. Every single supposed proof of the paranormal can and have been blown to smithereens by real science.

The counter argument of believers in the paranormal is that if you haven’t experienced it yet you won’t believe it. But I have had weird things thrown my way. I’ve had bizarre encounters with the unknown in the course of this program. Yet these things cannot be reproduced in a clinical environment. Until irrefutable evidence of the paranormal is presented then I’ll keep on going about in the real world as if the existence of psychic powers and spirits is possible but highly improbable. As I’ve said in one of my earlier posts: I’m a skeptic with a disclaimer.

The show, then, is real in the sense that we present cases of people who believe they have been touched by the shadow world. We investigate these cases using people who believe they have psychic powers. We document what happens during the course of the investigation and present it in what we hope is an entertaining way. That’s all there is to it, really.

By the way, we just taped the last episode of Nginiiig! Paranormal Investigation last night. Though I won’t deny that a part of me is sad because this Friday’s edition will be our last hurrah, another part of me is glad that it’s finally over. It’s been more than two years already and (I never thought I’d be saying this) I’m sick of the paranormal. I’d like to move on to other shows now, thank you very much. Something inspirational, maybe. Like the 700 Club.

Shyeah, right.