The Salamander

Streamlining

You may have noticed, dear nonexistent readers, that I’ve taken down my retarded articles with the note that “such-and-such has been republished in such-and-such blog.” This is all part of my attempt to streamline The Salamander. I realized it’s pretty silly to post the same article in two different blogs. And besides, The Salamander started out as a personal journal so I’m just pulling it back on track. There you go. From hereon, you’ll find my posts getting a bit more personal. Just don’t expect me to get emo on you. I’m not that far gone yet. Also, I’ll still keep posting Featured Retards articles here because I’m too lazy to update this thing every week. If you don’t like it, well, screw you. But I mean that in the nicest possible way.

If you enjoyed the retarded articles, however, you can still find them in my satire blog Songs of the Salamander. Check it out because Notes for the Aspiring Internet Rockstar Part II of II: How to Be an Asshole has already been published there. Also, check out Shaman with a Gun. No new short stories there but I’m compelled to promote it because I’m an attention whore. I’ll announce here whenever I’ve published new articles since I can’t add links to the outside world on my sidebar. Which just makes Friendster a cunt in my book. Yeah, I know it’s free. But does it have to act like it’s the only website on the intarwebs?

More on Friendster’s Featured Blogs

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. A lot of Friendster’s Featured Blogs suck. My testicles can write better articles than most of that crap. I recently emailed Friendster inquiring what their criterion was in selecting these gems of the blogosphere. Their reply was prompt: they ignored me. Fucktards.

The Man Blog and Blogherald

I’ve recently been added to the roster of editors in The Man Blog where I write as Squid Villanueva. They pay me three hundred dollars per article. Not. If you haven’t checked out that repository of internet retardedness, you’re not cool. Go ahead, check it out. Save it to your “favorites” list. Register and participate in the Man Blog Forum. Tell all your friends about it. Unless you’re easily offended, that is. In which case, you’d better not check it out because you’re a fucking asswipe.

Speaking of my juvenalia in The Man Blog, someone submitted my Notes for the Aspiring Internet Rockstar articles to Blogherald. Kewl.

That’s it for now. Enjoy your weekend, o figments of my imagination.