The Lord Has Spoken
For those of you still struggling about issues of Faith, let me tell you that Jesus is alive and well. He recently spoke to me. No shit. I emailed Him and He answered my prayer. His site can be found here.
For those of you who are too lazy to click on that link, I shall now reproduce here our full discourse:
June 2, 2006
Dear Lord:
Why am I not a rockstar yet?
All my love;
Squid Villanueva
…
Dearest Squid,
The rules of becoming a rockstar are simple. Not many people ask, so, like, thanks for thinking of me.
1. Have stupid hair (check)
2. Change name to something cool (uuummmm)
3. Sell your soul to Stan (ah, ah… you haven’t done this one yet)
4. Do something illegal and moronic (check… yeah, I saw that)
5. Steal another rocker’s girlfriend (you don’t really have to LIKE girls, so you’re still ok)
6. Know how to rock (might want to work on that one)
Good luck, dude.
Jesus
I say Amen.
